Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Who Invited the EuroTrash?





Ahh, monsieur Bernard, the fastest swimmer in the world, non? No.

Check out our boys who crushed the Frenchies in the 100 meter freestyle relay. Big words from the Frenchies, non? Well, we've heard those before, haven't we, Monsieur Maginot?

I'm not really even sure why France is still a country. I mean, come on: since the advent of democracy in America, France has had one Nazi puppet, two emperors, three kings and five separate Republiques.

Maybe France should start to compete on some unified team of all their allies: the Rwandan genocidaires; their Libyan frère, whom they protected from the U.S. strike in '86; and the other assorted Mobutus and Papa Docs out there.

And I'm really starting to get annoyed that French remains an official language of the Olympics. Some of the participants even use French for their official names year-round. Timor-Leste hardly seems like a tough-guy nation respected by its peers; sounds more like the little guy that wandered around with the warthog in The Lion King.

So, Bernard. Get your surrender hand ready. And shut your bouche.

Editor's Note #1: Bernard did indeed win the 100 free. Even mouthy guys have their day.

Editor's Note #2: Russia steamrolled right past Sarkozy's cease-fire, so I hope he at least taught the Georgians how to surrender.

5 comments:

Brasidas said...

Picking on the French (or Euros in general) is too easy. The French certainly have their share of mistakes, but they have some great moments, too. It's arguable that without their help, the Americans would not have beaten the British.

More to the point, it's commendable that a country with one fifth the U.S. population can field a relay team that could really challenge the Americans. Okay, Bernard is a meatball. Guess what: a lot of athletes are meatballs.

Anonymous said...

Um, in case you weren't paying attention, Mme Bernard dusted the field including Lezak in his individual final so apparently he is quite fast.

Regarding things french, Jerry Lewis apparently rolls gangsta when he travels: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080814/us_nm/lewis_dc_2

Here are some points for the French:
1) Apparently France has more pull in things international. While G. Bush was grab assing volleyball players and doing the wave with the Redeem Team, the French President arranged a cease fire in Georgia. Les Bleus 1, US 0.

2) His wife is hot too Les Bleus 2, US 0.

3) Oh and the sketchy albeit "democratically" (cough, cough) elected president of Georgia was educated in the US. Les Bleus Trois!, US Nil.

4) Two of the three best basketball players in the world are named "Le" Bron and D'Wayne. (and don't forget the Big Frenchy Shaquille). Les Bleus 4, US Nil.

5) Evian started the bottled water craze making Americans believe they had to drink $4.00 a gallon water from a little bottle instead of old fashioned flouride enhanced American tap water. Evian is Naive backwards. Les Bleus 5, US Nil.

That and we owe everything to Lafayette. We might be France's B%$#@#?

Anonymous said...

It wasn't the French who "trained" the crack Georgian surrender monkeys. Worse yet, the Georgians apparently started the fight only to have their asses handed to them so the French had to cry mon uncle for them - ouch. Les Bleus 6, USA 0.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't the French who "trained" the crack Georgian surrender monkeys. Worse yet, the Georgians apparently started the fight only to have their asses handed to them so the French had to cry mon uncle for them - ouch. Les Bleus 6, USA 0.

Anonymous said...

Dude, when did Pat Buchanan start posting on this blog? By the way, you know things are bad at the Olympics when the Swedes start throwing hissy fits. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/olympics/2557320/Swedish-wrestler-Ara-Abrahamian-throws-away-medal-in-Olympic-hissy-fit.html