Tuesday, August 26, 2008

John 3:16

"For [Ken Whisenhunt] so loved the world [of Cardinals fans] that he gave his only begotten [quarterback], that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life [as a sportsfan]."

Well, Ken, count me in as an apostate. I have lost my faith in your chosen one, the eternally-juvenile Matt Leinart. And as the prophets preach this morning that Leinart still has the starting job, I look to you for guidance. And your wisdom? "It was unfortunate that Matt has to see those [rumors of his demotion]."

Unfortunate? Let me suggest some other things Matt should see and learn:

-- Dude, you have the arm strength of a young tyrannosaur.
-- You are dumber than Jake Plummer -- when Jake was still in high school.
-- Hot tubs are skeevy places -- better check for cooties and other STDs.
-- There is a 40 second clock running between most plays; it's pretty important to start your plays before it ticks down.
-- "USC Alum" -- oxymoron or just moronic?


Todd said...

The loyalty and love of Ken and Matt is truly inspirational. Either that, or Matt has some hot photos of Ken in compromsing positions. Of course Matt knows all about those types of photos.

jutwinbaby said...

If Warner puts up some good numbers this year, he might put himself in line for the HOF. But did I ever post the story about him stealing my nanny?

Chas Hustle said...

Al Davis is in the house?