How Michael Phelps Got His Start...

College Football

Ah yes, the smell of leaves and the crisp cool winds of autumn. Well, okay... who am I kidding? It is August in Arizona and its still crazy-hot here. Anyway college football is upon us and that means good times. I'll be attending the Arizona State- Northern Arizona "rivalry" game this Saturday and I hope it stays within 14pts at least 'til halftime. I'm going courtesy of Justwinbaby, and so I plan to enjoy the free grub provided for his fancy loge seats.

Time for a quiz!

Ohio State is occasionally derided by Pac-10 fanboys for playing a weak in-state schedule before the Big 10 portion of the season kicks in. But Ohio State does occasionally lose those in-state games. Name the last Ohio school to beat the Buckeyes. Click HERE for the answer.

John 3:16

"For [Ken Whisenhunt] so loved the world [of Cardinals fans] that he gave his only begotten [quarterback], that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life [as a sportsfan]."

Well, Ken, count me in as an apostate. I have lost my faith in your chosen one, the eternally-juvenile Matt Leinart. And as the prophets preach this morning that Leinart still has the starting job, I look to you for guidance. And your wisdom? "It was unfortunate that Matt has to see those [rumors of his demotion]."

Unfortunate? Let me suggest some other things Matt should see and learn:

-- Dude, you have the arm strength of a young tyrannosaur.
-- You are dumber than Jake Plummer -- when Jake was still in high school.
-- Hot tubs are skeevy places -- better check for cooties and other STDs.
-- There is a 40 second clock running between most plays; it's pretty important to start your plays before it ticks down.
-- "USC Alum" -- oxymoron or just moronic?

Deadspin is Dead On

Deadspin counts down the "Top 10 Reasons the Little League World Series Sucks" HERE.

They are right on the mark. The whole thing is just crazy. 10 year old kids playing year around; the finals televised on ESPN; the playoffs televised on ESPN. Can you say "Way too much exposure at a young age"? Plus, the baseball isn't very good. They're KIDS. I know some love it because it brings baseball to its roots-- kids having fun. But this is SERIOUS BUSINESS and it doesn't look like much fun at all. It needs to end.

No QB Controversy Here

After tonight's debacle against the Oakland Raiders, are there any Cardinals fans who really think Matt Leinart should be the starting QB? Anyone? Leinart showed that his summer of beer-bongs with underage girls did not prepare him for the "tough" Oakland Defense. Three Interceptions in the first half is no way to inspire confidence Matt. Worse, his passes just looked terrible. They fluttered and floated and he really seemed to be just throwing the ball up for grabs. "Go Long!" may work in backyard football, but it clearly doesn't cut it in the NFL.

Kurt Warner is an experienced pro who proved last year that he "still has it." He may not be the "QB of the future," but he is the QB of now because he is the one who has demonstrated he can lead the Arizona Cardinals to a win.

The Medal Count*

And the question remains, who will "win" the Olympics. Oh, I know, guys like Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the modern Olympics, believed that "the important thing is not to win, but to take part." But in more recent years the Olympics have been led by swell fellas like Juan Antonio Samaranch, the falangist apologist for the Franco regime in Spain. He was all about Olympic glory, and it's all due to him that this year we need an asterisk in the standings.

As a jingoistic American, I question China's lead in the gold medal standings and likely top finish in the overall count. And I'm not talking about the nine-year-old gymnasts, either. Rather, I'm talking about those entertainment set pieces that Samaranch put in the Games, things like rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming and diving. (Click here for a link to the medal winners by year, with year of introduction of the event.) Now, I grant you that those events (and, dare we say it during Beijing 2008, beer, er, ping pong) take skill and fitness, but they lack the sustained endurance necessary to qualify, from the perspective of my armchair, as a true sport worthy of a medal, such as the marquee events like track and field and individual swimming and diving as well as more sparsely-attended events like rowing and the sweet science of boxing. And it's not just areas where the Chinese may rack up the score. The keirin track cycling race is fun to watch, and those crazy European dudes spin like mad, but when your whole race comes down to 6.5 seconds of energy, that's show biz not sport.

UFL for Justice

There have been some interesting columns in the past year about the high-profile failures of certain quarterbacks in the NFL. In particular, Byron Leftwich, Duante Culpepper, and other black quarterbacks met with huge success, but then when injured or less effective were quickly demoted and then cut. Now they stuggle to find jobs as back up QBs. Their plight was contrasted with the plight of oft-injured, weak-armed, but likable white guy Chad Pennington. As soon as he was cut by the Jets (after they landed Brett Favre) Chad was quickly snapped up by the Miami Dolphins.

So some are wondering "what gives?" Read the column by the National Sports Review HERE. It raises a number of valid points. Though Culpepper hasn't looked that great since he came back from his knee injury.

The UFL suddenly emerges as not only an alternative to the NFL, but a new opportunity for black quarterbacks who find themselves on the outside looking in. NFL Hall of Fame QB Warren Moon had to start his career with Edmonton of the CFL. It was only after he had stellar success there that he was able to play QB in the NFL. UFLAccess.com posits that perhaps the UFL will provide the same opportunity to guys like Leftwich. Read the UFL column HERE.

Two Cheers for Kobe

Although the jury never even went out, we can now concede that Kobe Bryant is, at the very least, an elegant rapist.

For starters, he is leading the American basketballers in just being plain old sports fans, parading with the other athletes and cheering for Michael Phelps, even going so far as to pose with Phelps' mom and to lead the swim team in cheers. (This is a far cry from one of the early Dream Teams, when Hakeem Olajuwon had to elbow Gary Payton on the medal stand to get him to stop his jawing.)

He is also, let's remember, a tri-lingual American [seriously, there can't be more than about 75 tri-lingual Americans in the entire country], giving interviews to the world press in Italian, Spanish and English. (Even better, he refuses to speak French). This is a remarkable skill, and makes Kobe a remarkably well-rounded athlete who can at least attempt to fend off the perception of American insularity and nativism.

There remains, of course, that weekend on the slopes in Aspen. Whatever happened there (he raped her), he certainly forgot the Cassanova creed of leaving his women contented and wanting more. Perhaps Aspen was truly an aberration for an otherwise good guy; to be on the safe side, Kobe, stay away from the wanna-be ski bunnies while in China.

Hammer Time

The Spanish Olympic Basketball Team is pretty good. In fact the team has several NBA players. Here's their team picture (no joke):



Don't worry, there's a reason for the team "slant-eyes" picture.
"It was something like supposed to be funny or something but never offensive in any way," Spain's Pau Gasol, center for the Los Angeles Lakers, said. "I'm sorry if anybody thought or took it the wrong way and thought that it was offensive." The photographer asked them to pose like that, according to Jose Manuel Calderon, a Raptors point guard.

Wait, Gosol is sorry if anyone thought it was offensive. I'm sorry Pau, but that is no apology. You don't get to qualify your apologees. Either you're sorry or you're not. The photo is offensive. Not to mention, stupid, juvenile, etc.

Time for David Stern to tell the NBA players on the Spanish team to apologize. Then he should order them to sensitivity classes or suspension if they don't go. The NBA needs to send a message that that crap don't fly here.

Who Invited the EuroTrash?

Ahh, monsieur Bernard, the fastest swimmer in the world, non? No.

Check out our boys who crushed the Frenchies in the 100 meter freestyle relay. Big words from the Frenchies, non? Well, we've heard those before, haven't we, Monsieur Maginot?

I'm not really even sure why France is still a country. I mean, come on: since the advent of democracy in America, France has had one Nazi puppet, two emperors, three kings and five separate Republiques.

Maybe France should start to compete on some unified team of all their allies: the Rwandan genocidaires; their Libyan frère, whom they protected from the U.S. strike in '86; and the other assorted Mobutus and Papa Docs out there.

And I'm really starting to get annoyed that French remains an official language of the Olympics. Some of the participants even use French for their official names year-round. Timor-Leste hardly seems like a tough-guy nation respected by its peers; sounds more like the little guy that wandered around with the warthog in The Lion King.

So, Bernard. Get your surrender hand ready. And shut your bouche.

Editor's Note #1: Bernard did indeed win the 100 free. Even mouthy guys have their day.

Editor's Note #2: Russia steamrolled right past Sarkozy's cease-fire, so I hope he at least taught the Georgians how to surrender.

Tiananmen was a "crackdown"?

Nice to see that the National Broadcasting Company has become China's b****. During the Opening Ceremonies Jim Lampley, Bob Costas and even Tom Brokaw chose to highlight the perseverance of China in the face of protests rather than the underlying reasons for the protests themselves. And when they did talk about the "occupation" of Tibet or "genocide" in Darfur, those fighting words were mysteriously blurred out of the broadcast. Take a gander below.

Listen, I'm all for recognizing the glorious inventions of China, like the Great Wall, calligraphy, fireworks and pasta. I can even appreciate on a theoretical level the land reform efforts in Yenan after the Long March -- the only time land reform has ever been accomplished in an equitable manner with regard for due process -- but NBC needs to take the good with the bad.

Bob Costas at one point referred to Tiananmen as a "crackdown". Don't you think "massacre" would be a better word for the killing of protesters? The only remotely analogous American violence against peaceful protesters is Bull Connor's dogs and hoses in Birmingham, and Connor has now been reviled by three generations of Americans. The U.S. press would never permit a whitewashing of the violence in Birmingham, and should not sugarcoat the execution of students in China.

And finally, let's talk about the little kid walking in with Yao, the tiny earthquake survivor. Hey, that's a great story. But I swear to you, Bob Costas actually seemed to believe that nonsense that China is spinning about how that teeny little boy crawled his way out of the rubble and then went back to help dig out his classmates. C'mon, reporters and commentators, you know a load of crap when you see it. That's like supporting the Cuban line that Elian Gonzalez is a student leader, or the American military's contention that Jessica Lynch went down with guns ablazing. Let the little kid have his day, but don't perpetuate a myth.

Still, the Games are pretty cool and the Chinese fans are real sportsmen and -women. I'm going back to watch the swimming.

Spitz is a baby

Yahoo is reporting (HERE) that Olympic Legend Mark Spitz feels hurt and snubbed because he wasn't invited to be there in person if his swimming records are broken in Beijing.

Spitz whines:

"I never got invited. You don't go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am," Spitz told AFP in Hong Kong.
"I am going to sit there and watch Michael Phelps break my record anonymously? That's almost demeaning to me. It is not almost—it is."

The article continues:

Spitz, whose brief stint in show business in the 1970s never quite matched his success in the pool, said he attended the Athens Olympics four years ago—when Phelps also tried to break the record.
"They did not once put my face on television," he recalled. "But as soon as the swimming was over, and Michael Phelps didn't break my record, every time I went to beach volley, they put my face on the volleyballs."

My God, what a egomaniac. He's bitter because HE isn't the star of this olympics? Damn, Mark, if you want to go, then go. But don't get all worked up because they didn't give you the key to the city or "put your face on television." Jeez, what a baby.

Woo Hoo!

The NFL Season is upon us (finally!)

I'll be attending the Cardinals-Saints game tomorrow (inexplicably set for a Thursday night) along with a bunch of Cowboys fans who were forced to buy this pre-season ticket to get their precious Cowboys tickets. I'm the guy who will be cheering for Warner to beat out Leinart. Regardless, it should be fun.

Other NFL Stuff-

My take on Favre? I understand he changed his mind. That's fine. But how can he think that the Packers would or should let him go to Minnesota. What a prima-dona. Let them trade you to Tampa and be done with it!

Olympics 2008 -China

As you can see anytime you try to watch sports on TV, the Olympics is about to start in China. I love the Olympics. Nothing better than some good old fashioned Nationalism.

But remember: China sucks. Boycott the shows and the advertisers who support China's actions in Tibet by paying money to be seen on the telecast.

More on the boycott HERE.

Great Game!

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Soul --the Jon Bon Jovi owned 2008 Arenabowl 22 (!) Champion. A great, close 59-56 victory over San Jose wrapped up a nice season.

Here are my final 2008 Arenafootball Rankings:

1. Philadelphia Soul. The Champs
2. San Jose Sabercats. Nice comeback.
3. Cleveland Gladiators. Great Playoff Run.
4. Dallas Desperados. Window of opportunity is closing.
5. Chicago Rush. Disappointing fade at end of season.
6. Georgia Force.
7. New York Dragons. Nice 2nd half of season.
8. Grand Rapids Rampage. Moving to Minnesota rumors?
9. Arizona Rattlers. Need to build on this rebuilding year.
10. Orlando Predators. Has Gruden lost his edge?
11. Tampa Bay Storm.
12. New Orleans Voo Doo.
13. Utah Blaze. Why did Danny White quit?
14. Columbus Destroyers. Already signing players for 2009.
15. Los Angeles Avengers
16. Colorado Crush. Time for Elway to clean house.
17. Kansas City Brigade. Need to find a QB solution.

An All-Star Game Worth Watching

Some facts are well-established. Like, All-Star games suck. The NFL Pro Bowl is a half-speed farce. Major League Baseball tried to put some life in its all-star game by awarding the winning league home field advantage in the World Series. It didn't work. Perhaps the worst all-star game of all is the NBA's version of a super-star scrimmage. The NBA version feature absolutely no attempt by players to play hard. The games suck.

But Major League Soccer has stumbled onto a system that works. The games are exciting, well-played, and perhaps most important, it is clear that the players are going all out. Tonight's MLS All-Star game (at shiny new Sold-Out BMO Field in Toronto) was a perfect example. MLS prevailed 3-2 over West Ham United of the English Premiere League in a close, exciting game full of excellent play, great shots, and hotly contested possession. For five years now, MLS has pitted its All-stars against top professional teams from the world's top leagues. For 5 years MLS has won those games, and for the most part the games have been quite good. Regardless, they are worth watching --which automatically makes them better games than the all-star shows put on by NFL, MLB, and NBA. The NHL occasionally tweaks its all-star format, and its North America v. Europe version of its all-star game improves the product. But this "us vs. them" set up used by MLS is clearly superior. The players really care about the result. League pride is on the line.

Such a set-up obviously will not work for baseball or the NFL. But the NBA should consider an NBA all-=star team v. a world team or the olympic champs or something similar. As a kid I remember watching with interest when the super bowl champs (Pittsburgh in 1979) took on a college all-star team. Now that was fun. Too bad the NFL would never try something that interesting now.

Regardless, skip the current all-star formats and make sure you tune in for next year's MLS All-star game. You won't be disappointed.

ESPYs Baby!

Hello! Mike and I are back from our week in Hollywood.
We had a great time, but we are sure glad to be back in AZ :)
On Tuesday, we got to dine at The Ivy. We pulled up to the valet and the paparazi ran out to take pictures and realized we were no one important and ran back inside. It was quite funny. On Wednesday, we got to go to the ESPY's as guests of Matt Leinart's. That was very fun b/c we got to walk the red carpet and see a whole bunch of movie stars and sports stars. Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPYs and did a fabulous job. I'm not a huge Justin Timberlake fan (probably b/c I'm not 20), but I have to say that he was absolutely hilarious. [editor note: I agree on both counts]
We sat behind Steve Nash and most of the Celtics. Then, they had a party after and I got to meet and talk to Michael Strahan, Braylin Edwards, Steve Nash (AZ shout out) and Tony Gonzales and a whole bunch of other huge football players that I had no idea what their names were. (not even sure if I'm spelling their names correctly) Mike knew everyone and kept throwing out stats from their rookie years, which was quite funny.
Later we got to go to an "after After Hours Party" for about 300 people. One thing about LA is that there is always a party after a party. We got to talk to Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Berman and Paul Pierce (no gang signs please). I got to give love to my KU peeps Mario Chalmers and his dad. My favorite of the second party was WNBA Candice Parker and her family. She was super nice and VERY tall.
Then, on Thursday, we went to Matt Leinart's annual fundraiser at the Lucky Strike Bowl in Hollywood. Mike got to bowl with Greg Odom (a spectacular performance of 150 for both). Again, we saw a bunch of sports stars, but who really cares about them. Let's talk about the reality stars I saw.
I saw the entire Kardashian family (sans the mom) and they are just as pretty in person. The whole family is very small (I refuse to think that I am big) and they are very nice. The highlight of the night was getting to hang with the "Girls Next Door" -Bridget and Kendra. Wow! They are really tiny (except the boobs)! Of course, there were like 7 after hours parties after the fundraiser. On second thought, my favorite athlete of the night of the fundraiser was Brandon Mebane, DT from Seattle. He was super down-to-earth and brought two friends, who collectively weighed 1,200 pounds (big dudes). I had to find others to chat with since Mike was off all night with The Girls Next Door!
Photos--
#1 is "Purvis" with Reggie Bush
#2 is her husband with Greg Odom

Fixing mistakes

News item: the Diamondbacks just traded a minor leaguer to the Padres for veteran Tony Clark. Read the story HERE. Nice of the Dbacks to fix the mistake they made in letting him leave town in the office season. I wonder if the Chicago White Sox would be so kind to trade back Carlos Quentin?

Bruce Snyder

Yesterday the AP reported that former ASU Sun Devil football coach Bruce Snyder has cancer. No details are being released --which does not bode well for Coach Snyder. I'll be pulling for him. Not because he was a great coach (which he was), but because he happens to live half the year near some relatives of mine and I've met him a few times. He is sharp, funny, and best of all --honest. He'll tell you what is wrong and what is right in college sports and as would be expected, he has some great insights. Mrs. Snyder is funny and sharp as well. I look forward to his full recovery.

Super Superliga

You probably have missed some great soccer as "Superliga 2008" is well underway. Superliga pits the top four MLS teams against the top four Mexican League teams in a "league" much like the Champions League in Europe. To my surprise, the soccer has been excellent. These matches are well-attended (in comparison to MLS matches) and hard-fought. It is clear that the Mexican League teams care as much about winning as the MLS teams do. This makes for some brutal play and tough contests. What is more impressive is how well the MLS teams are doing. Most soccer fans assume the Mexican League is superior to the USA's Major League Soccer. Top to bottom, I suppose they are right. But Superliga proves that the top MLS teams are on par with the best of Mexico.

Last night was a perfect example. Two excellent 1-0 games that featured hard tackles, tons of effort, and fast play. In both cases the MLS team won. Chivas USA beat Santos 1-0 on a nice header by Razov. Earlier the New England Revolution went to 2-0 in league play on a 1-0 victory over Pachuca. Read the game stories HERE. The only downside is that the games are a little hard to find --as they are only on Spanish-language TV. Telefutura is showing the games here and the channel is available on cable and the dish.

This kind of well-attended, well-played soccer bodes well for soccer in America and reflects the huge growth in the skill level played by MLS.